Condoms? Anyone? Anyone?

This is my friend Bradley. Somehow, some way, we both came to college with snowmen turtle-neck shirts. Was this planned? Not in the least. Do we look more bad-ass than all other college kids that are out raging, getting plastered every night, and wearing those avatar sun-glasses combined? Yes. Yes a million times over. Do I have any regrets? Never.

There was a Christmas party tonight on my floor. It was crazy. There was twister and then some chips. I think I understand what college parties are now. Oh boy *fanning self*.

After this, we started to play truth or dare. Naturally, because I aint no whimp, I chose dare. Because if I chose truth they'd probably all be, "who are you hard-core crushin on these days you silly gurl you?" And I'd have to be all, "well I'm kind of in love with my body pillow...it's a weird relationship, but he just gets me. I can't explain it."

And then they'd all just sit there staring at me being all slack-jawed and what not. Then drool would starting to waterfall out of their mouth, because that's what happens trust me, and it'd start to puddle at their feet. It's just a mess I really did NOT want to deal with.

Instead, I was dared to go up to a room on a floor I did not know, knock with all my might, and say,

"Hi, I'm so sorry. This is kind of awkward and I don't mean to interupt whatever it is you're doing, but do you happen to have a condom we could use?"

And then I'd pull Bradley (because we matched so well) into the room and he'd kind of awkwardly wave.

Room 1:
*pushes door open because it doesn't lock* Giant gathering of freshmen. Mixture of boys and girls, all sitting around the counter in the kitchen, playing cards or gambling, or making drugs of some sort.

"Hi, I'm so sorry. This is kind of awkward and I don't mean to interrupt whatever it is you're doing, but do you happen to have a condom we could use?"

*Bradley pokes his head in behind me and waves and smiles*
*Silence. everyone stares and doesn't know how to react.*

Finally awkward girl in the back kind of breathed out, "uh. no. no we don't."
Hah. It was brilliant! One girl honestly looked like this face made out of keyboard characters O_O < -

Room 2:
*Knocks on door, Bradley and I were hand in hand...door opens and there are a million kids lying on the ground in the dark watching a movie, all focusing on the bright light at the door*

"Hey, sorry I hope I'm not really interrupting anything."
"Oh no! You're fine!"
*girl in backround*
"You guys honestly look so adorable. I can't even handle it."
"*shy laugh, playing it off* I was wondering if any of you guys had a condom we could borrow?"
*shock*
"Uh. *begins to giggle a bit* I don't. No. Sorry. Do any of you guys?"
*kids in back...in a hesitant voice*
"No. We don't either..."
"Oh. Okay well thanks anyways! Have fun watching your movie!"

Now why I asked if we could "borrow" a condom makes no sense. It's not like I'd give it back to them after it were all used and gross things. (don't think about this too hard. Don't imagine it! DON'T!........ah man you did, huh? Sorry dude)

Anyways, it was funny. If any of those kids see me in the hallway, I'm the slut that asked them for a condom, but ya know what? It was a dare, okay?! You can't hold this against me! I simply won't let you!

For the sake of entertainment people. Always for the sake of entertainment. Oh bother.