Is this ever going to feel right in my mouth?

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH.

You're really sick did you know that? Gosh. I just can't get over how disgusting you are. What my title is talking about is my RETAINER you pervert. Wow. I almost want you to stop reading my blog, but then I remember there's like 4 of you and then I think, no no. Please stay. I beg of you. Please! I'm sorry for all my last remarks. Oh gosh! Please! Please stay! INEEDYOU.

I got a retainer. I can't stop messing with it. It's rubbing my tongue absolutely raw. Plus it makes my teeth uber sore. AND on top of that! I have to take it out while I eat. That's fine and all, but this retainer is practically cock blocking food from my mouth.

"Freaking retainer. Who needs you?! Huh?" *shift camera angle in mirror*
"Shh shh. It's going to be alright." *shift back*
"How do you know?" *shift*
"Everything is going to be just fine Jeannie." *shift*
"You don't know me! You don't know my life! It's not that easy!" *shift*
"I know you better than you think I do." *shift back. Jeannie with a look of shock on her face*
"Don't say that. Don't you say that to me!" *shift back to other Jeannie with un-dialated pupils*
*in eery voice* "We wants it. We wants the retainer." *shift*
*scared* "No. No we must'nt. It hurts us!" *shifts*
"It's a tricksy retainer. We must wear it. We must!"
"No. No. Leave now and never come back!"
"What did you say?"
"Leave now and NEVER COME BACK!"

No but really. I do have to wear it. My teeth are wack son. Anywho. I gotta give a talk in church tomorrow. Geez. Writing it has been like writing a paper all over again. Write a sentence, check facebook (my own personal devil of a creation).

This is worst. PLUS. All my family is gonna be there. Aunt, Uncle, cousins, cousin-in-law, cousin-in-law's sister. Ya know. The ushe.

Ah well. This is life. This is it right here. You see it? You see it right in front of your face?!

I think I'm kind of full of angst and what not tonight. I'll spare you the rest of my inner thoughts.
 "HELP ME! I NEED HELP!"
"Shut up you inner thought! Stay inner!"

Sorry about that. Enjoy life and things!