Lemmetellya

Yesterday I drove up to Logan by myself. It was all nice and good. I listened to Steve Martin's book on tape and it was extremely relaxing and also dangerous cuz I think I almost fell asleep. Regardless, it was going well, until I realized I needed to eat dinner.

Now, for some reason, I cannot eat food in front of people that I don't really know very well. (You guessed it! Dating is going to be a breeze for this girl). Who knows why. I sure don't. Especially if they don't have food to eat as well. Psh. Game over at that point. They'd just be watching me as I slowly brought my saliva-inducing, amazingly appetizing food item to the gaping hole in my head I call a mouth, and it's just so crazy uncomfortable I can't even put it into words.

So I got up to Logan and decided to stop for a nice dinner. I pulled over at a Subway, because that sounded fantastic. But then I came to the realization, I was alone and I didn't have anywhere to go to eat it. Not my car, that's really just sad, but not with the people I was going to be with, because they didn't have food and I didn't know them well enough to shove my face into a sandwich while they just stood by and watch. No thanks 'ol buddy 'ol pal. I'll go ahead and take a minor pass on that bad boy.

I decided the best thing I could do was to just eat in the Subway, but take a book in there with me. That's a thing that's done constantly. A nice night on the town to get a little further in your book and enjoy your alone time.

Perfect plan! I'd done it. I'd beat the system and avoided awkward eating situations. Yet, the only book I had in my car was my Spanish version of Like water for chocolate. Como Agua para Chocolate. So I just spent the whole time pretending to read a book I barely even read the first time around, and ate my sandwich in silence.

Now that I'm writing it...it's not as excitingly funny as I once imagined it to be. Nevertheless. People did look at me differently. But I think it was because I was impressing them with the fact that I was reading a novel IN SPANISH. (Sike. I don't speak that language, I only passed that class because I made food for it. Whatcha!)

I thought it was kind of silly. Now, because I promised. On behalf of my most dedicated reader, I have to let the world know, that Alexis Bree Selman beat me, Jeannie Marie Woller, at Egyptian Rat Screw. A feat that has only been done by 1 or 2 before her.

YOU HAPPY NOW SMELLY? ARE YOU?

Well that's it. This post is over. Go away. (But come back iloveyou)